Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
