Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
