thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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