Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
