I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
