So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
