Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
