office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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