Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize