he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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