we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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