big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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