garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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