Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
