More tranny stories later!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
