with your own penis?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The Olympian is in my bed
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