You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
