forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
