Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will be naked everywhere
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
