I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Buhtt sex?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
