My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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