He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
