just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
