whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
