Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
