So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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