Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
