can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
