im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize