Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
