very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize