I love black thongs
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
