just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
