Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize