you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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