Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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