You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize