I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
