So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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