She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
