you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The adults are the big ones right?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
