he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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