I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
