Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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