I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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