the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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