If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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