Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
