You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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