oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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