Porn is love you can see.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
