White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
