I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
