Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
