Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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