you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
