If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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