I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize