carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
