i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
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