The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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