I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize